Wednesday, July 15, 2009


poorverty is like genius gone mad.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009


once told to never stop typing or putting pen to papyrus. intend to follow up on that instruction. still need to get that degree. still need to apply for financial aid. transfer, negotiate existing financial tirades. budget. invest in the stock market. invest in anything. boast about failures and be humble about success??

he who boasts will not endure, therefore, to boast of a failure will cease to exist. humility about the results we desire may yield desired results in the future.

Four gifts the Hero may achieve as present by Joseph Campbell: Father Atonement, Sacred Marriage, Apotheosis, Elixir Theft.

Of course, each hero must undergo a series of psychological tests in order to attain any of these. Elixir Theft is like the bronze of these, but still worthwhile. Yet, the other three are still highly desirable.

Must improve on organizational skills. Maybe. Exile still lingers.

Feeling pretty ignorant and stupid, yet, my capacity to play basketball has increased. Nimrod was a dumb shit yet he became a great warrior. Life is more than money yet Oscar Wilde admitted that after a while he knew that that was the only thing that mattered in life. So...who is most important? God, woman, or money? All three are very imperative to a man's existence.

Yet, each dollar bill is marked with the words that it is legal tender for all debts public and private. And the desire to rid ourselves of debt lingers highly on our to-do list. It seems the two desires are very contradictory if not conflicting. It's as though we stumbled upon another forbidden fruit in this paradise that we've been granted. To be able to have anything you want, yet to be willing to sacrifice for it. Once read that I can have anything I want, I just can't have everything I want. Yet, freedom from want seems to be a good resolution. There is usually a time when my space and freedom is impeded and submission to this higher authority is imminent.

This lonely savage just cannot figure it out at this moment in time. his capacities for generativity and self-absorption are limited since he is in the process of mastering solitude and intimacy. Of course, this maturity game was presented by Erik Erikson and may be up for debate. Beauty is sought after and yields to great delight.

Santa Claus. Saint Nicolaus. Travels the world in a reindeer led sleigh. No money down. Provides toys and miracles to children everywhere. And! On limited resources. How could a mythological character be so resourceful with scarce materials? Maybe there's something in the northern lights. Aurora borealis magic?

Something about diligence may provide a man with a house. Must research those lines more deliberately. Land is for sale all across the county. Yet, the meek shall inherit the earth. Yet, it has once been said that land is a good investment. After all, who can stand without land?

So, it's been a good spiel so far but the words just don't glitter off the page like they once did. Like, all it is to me anymore is words and spaces. Yet, persistance can wield the crown of life.


Tuesday, June 30, 2009

again...nothing. might as well be a frog

resting in the hills if nice. i mean...naz.'s naz, real naz. sometimes i wonder if this heaven things been around the whole time or if i had to find it myself. i only do this now because i saw another trailer for a movie by m. night schamalan or however you spell it. seems to be really well. discipline seems to pay off. yet it sometimes interferes with the paradiso that i try to maintain. but maybe on down the line i'll thank myself when i'm older. a cool thing to do would be to somehow encounter my future self in the near future so that that future me could tell me where not to go, what not to do, and so on. then maybe the future would be better?

yet, the life force dwindles as i write this. total stress on the cranium just for typing some keys. saw beauty and splendor today. lemme tell ya, just meditating on some things will bring you into contact with em. like heaven and paradise. if you can think of anything better, i'd like to hear about it. either way, i'm stuck in this writers' dilemma of not really wanting to make it a final career choice, yet continuing with it because...?

peace out.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

nothing really

just kinda doin nothin. enjoying the natural spa sauna of the surroundings. not sure if there's a universal heaven or if we have to build it ourselves. look for the good and procureth favor. whosoever trusts in the lord will be very prosperous indeed. the silence of night around here is a bit contrived. wish i had an indoor basketball court or gym to hang out at at night. cannot be a baller because comfort and stability are excellent servants. need a batmobile or some sort of vehicle from knight rider in times like these. a butler would be nice too.

everything seems to pause in sing-song environments. it's like there's a spell attached to it. got a typo corrected on my driving record. had to win that one.

feel like an adam without an eve. should either refrain from talking or be a man of few words. would work at the written word but work and writing poses a psychological dilemma. all work and no food equals very dissatisfied, starving, poor, defenseless mongrel.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

just messing

hate to sound dreary and weak but it's late and i need to feel like i'm contributing something to the mess of the world. soul-shattering experiences should be avoided. just a heads up. suffering humiliation is pretty bad anymore. propels and inspires surely. persistance pays off these days. it's like discipline on steroids. scholarly activities beckon me. Vacation time, maybe. Would love to work on a farm somewhere. Anywhere really. The sheer joy of labor is enough anymore. Suffering from genius again. In need of perspicacity, again. Will rattle off random thoughts in effort to extinguish urge to type.

The more I write, the weaker it becomes. The writer must suffer the bottom rung of society before his work influences the higher ranks. Starvation, poverty, and death are three surefire things that an artist must suffer if the work is to be worth a damn to anyone, ever. Unless, of course, the artist hates making art. Anyone that hates what they do have their work set out in eternity. Those who love what they do will lose it. Just a reiteration.

The Odyssey and the Epic of Gilgamesh are starting to read well. beginning to miss classroom lectures in academic settings. Careful not to speak too much mumbo jumbo, the guy in the sky seems to flood people in these circumstances.

Shame has become a point of speculation. something about a third nipple. difficult to profess. revealed on spirit quest to corn field. be careful with the ring of fearlessness--contains much life experience.

instruction is only necessary when the listener looks for said instruction. Yet, he who listens to all instruction will build a crooked house. yet the son of man will suffer much. yet, it's good to have structure. But, in order to show your fellow man that you have the wits to match, you must grow some balls and take matters into your own hands.

Talking to one's self is not necessarily evil. it can be said that one's body is one's servant and that the mind or spirit is its master. to take a ride in your car and ask yourself why you're such a klutz is perfectly logical in helping some part of your body understand the problem in order to rebound for any future discrepancies.

that's all i've got. in and out.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

on coldheartedness

i dislike it. it's an adversity against a person's dreams and desires. of course, one could say that a desire is simply a setup for adversity, so you get what you pay for. yet, it's hard for me to say anything really. i'm stuck in a time warp between fantasy and reality, fiction and non-fiction. again, the guardians of the threshold are there to either protect us or to protect themselves from us. it can work both ways. so many directions in life. just don't pick the wrong course. ah, pick whatever course you want.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

just bloggin

been hoopin and readin. school and job looks primo. paradise and heaven even more so. who knows...maybe i'll be the next "professor" of the and1 basketball clan.